Anti-Adoption Sentiment in Society?What's your take on this? Options

[pinkfrosting]

I blogged about this issue and you can read the post here (I hope you will, I put a lot of thought into it that I'll only be summarizing here) and here's the gist of what I've been noticing:

Where an "unwanted" or teenage pregnancy is concerned, there seem to be only TWO acceptable solutions in society today: 1) keep the baby and raise it the best you can or 2) have an abortion.

Whatever happened to adoption? When did that STOP being the right, noble thing to do and START being the "selfish" course (because OBVIOUSLY you'd only give up your baby for adoption because you don't love it, right?)?! WHY is it okay to subject a child to a broken or incomplete home, poverty, and or emotional distress simply because you "made a mistake"?

What is your take on this ladies? I'm getting more than a little outraged about this the more I think about it or see it in society, but I guess I'm wondering what you ladies think?

[pinkfrosting]

Cookiemama, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It's completely disgusting. True, I'm sure at the TIME it's "easier" to destroy a life and thereby "solve" the problem, but the long-term ramifications (for the mother) are appalling not to mention the act itself. It's hideous that it's become more about money than anything else and that the SOCIAL welfare of the mother is considered first rather than the life of the child, the possibility of the completion of a family through adoption or the long-term psychological welfare of the mother. I think it makes a very disturbing and potentially fatal statement about our society.

[Ketha]

Not knowing anyone who has been adopted or adopted a child.... I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I'm Pro-life... I know that there are situations where a child is conceived and the mother can't properly give the child a life or it's an unwanted pregnancy..I also know there are hundreds of couples who want and wish for a child and can't have one. What a perfect match up.....

[The TinMans Wife...]

THis topic is currently near my heart. My teenage nephew ( son of my heart) and his teenage girlfriend are expecting a baby girl in May. No, it will not be easy. The girl has the support of her parents. They will help her raise this baby. My nephew has a job and wants to be a part of this child's in ways that his own mother was not. He knows the pain of mommy saying she will call and the call does not come. His mother is my sister, and like Vivian Lee's sister, my sister has addiction issues. Addiction has caused her to not be able to make good, healthy, decisions, not only for herself nor for her child. She lost custody of my nephew when he was 5 years old. His father has raised him and that was good. I have always been there for him as well. Yes, I did lecture him on abstinence, birth control, making the right choices. But we can never really "control" a teenager, they do have minds of their own. And so, here we are. A baby on the way. I spoke with our local Crisis Pregnancy Center, which is a Christian based organization. The lady I spoke with told me that they speak with the teen mother and the father if he wants to be there..and she explained that there are basically 3 choices : 1. Adoption ( they explain all the different kinds of adoption; closed vs. open, etc. )2. Abortion. (of course, they DO NOT condone this, but they explain ALL the issues connected with this) and 3. Give birth to the baby and raise it yourself.
Utimately, the mother is the one who makes the choice. I am looking at this pregnancy through different eyes. I have a daugher who is 27, my biggest fear was that she may get pregnant as a teenager. She did not. She is not married yet and has no children yet. Looking at this through the eyes of my nephew is painful. He already loves this unborn child. He wants to give this baby the love and support that it deserves. No, it will not be easy. No matter what choice would have been taken, there would be consequences, regrets perhaps, but the one this young couple has chosen is one filled with love and yes, fear, but one they are willing to live with. I want to be there for this child as well. I have "parented" my nephew as if he were my own since the age of 5. So, in a sense, I "adopted" him into my heart. It is such a personal choice and every situation is unique. When the choices are made, I think we just need to be there with love and prayers, to lift up those who are scared and only trying to make the right choices in their life. May God bless all of those who have had to make such a difficult, life changing decision.

[barnyard]

As an adoptive mom, I think it's sad, too. Lately whenever the issue of international adoption comes up (both my children are adopted internationally) people wonder if the adoption was ok, or whether fraud was committed. What? I know there have been some adoptions that were not done correctly but I think the majority of them were fine. I applaud birthparents who feel they cannot handle the child, for whatever reason, and parents who decide that keeping their baby is the best thing. Either way as long as they have the best interest of the child at heart they are doing the right thing. I actually was privileged to meet my daughter's birthfather and he was a wonderful caring man who loved his child, and believed he was doing what was best for our daughter.
It is sad that society doesn't seem to value adoption.

[Kristie]

I just left a comment at the blog, which I started by saying I couldn't understand the negative response to your post!!! I was adopted as a newborn, and it hasn't been perfect, but no one is guaranteed a perfect life, adopted or not, single mom or not, intact family or not, whatever. I've had mixed feelings about it over the years, but have always felt gratitude that my birth mom gave me life, in what must have been a terribly difficult and painful situation for her, and I can't blame her for anything. That being said, I don't know that I would counsel either of my daughters to give up their baby if they became pregnant at a young age. I got pregnant at 18 and thought about adoption, but decided to do my best and raise my baby myself. I went on to have four more and motherhood has been a blessing and a joy!! If they were pregnant, I would tell them first off, abortion is OUT. (They already know, I've taught them all that abortion is really a fancy name for killing a baby inside it's mama's tummy) If they wanted to give the baby up, I'd support that decision and help them through it, but I would let them know that I would be there to help them raise the child if that was what they wanted to do!!